Years ago, I recall a visit to my grandparent’s home when my Grandma showed me this display she had created. I remember it was really important to her. I think I was in college at the time. Even back then, I loved genealogy. But I don’t think that love had yet extended far enough to appreciate framed hair. Because, well, it’s framed hair. And unless you understand the significance of the framed hair, it’s just framed hair. But what I wouldn’t give today to go back to that moment and ask my Grandma a few questions.
Like, what is the significance of the yellow satin? (My Grandma was all about significance so I’m guessing there was some.) It looks like Hattie must have written the note about Nina, am I right? The notes about Lola and Montice seem to have been written twice – did Hattie write in pencil and you tried to trace over her writing with pen? Or possibly Hattie wrote in pen but the ink had faded so you traced over it to darken it, am I on the right track? When was the bit of your Mother’s hair cut? Was she a child? How long had you been planning to create this display before you finally put it together? What inspired you? How did these lovely bits of hair make their way to you?
And on, and on I could go.
Why didn’t I understand back then, that I would have so many questions about this wall hanging one day?
I don’t think I even knew back then that it represented my Grandmother’s Grandmother’s loss. Grandma Hattie buried four of her precious babies at such young ages. Lola was only three, Nina was just a few months past one, Montice was just two, and Edwin was just a young boy of six.
In that moment, standing in my Grandma’s bedroom next to her as she showed me her treasure, why didn’t I understand? Why didn’t I soak in some of her memories? Memories of Hattie. Possibly memories of Hattie talking about her precious babies that she lost too soon.
Why didn’t I know that moment mattered?
I wish I had an answer. I wish I had answers.
Instead, I am left to infer, and comment about, and preserve, and hope that by writing about this treasure here, one day, my own granddaughter or grandson will understand why Grandma has a picture frame with bits of hair tied in bits of ribbon with scraps of paper recording the short, but oh-so-precious lives of Hattie & Heber’s children.
I hope.
Grandma, I’m sorry that I didn’t listen better. I’m sorry I didn’t understand the framed hair. But I’m so thankful that you shared anyway.
And that you shared again, and again, and again.
I’m so thankful to be the current steward of so many family treasures that you lovingly preserved. Man, I wish blogging had been a thing when you were still alive. You would have been an amazing genealogy blogger. I would have answers to so many questions!
So I’m just going to keep on keepin’ on. I’m going to digitize and write and share so that as much of our family’s history is preserved as I can get to. Thank you, for being such an inspiration to me about the ways we can honor and remember our ancestors. I hope I am making you proud. I love you! Save a spot for me up there right next to you. <3
Happy Monday, I hope it’s a week filled-to-the-brim with genealogy goodness and happy memories of loved ones! xoxo
Don’t we all have those regrets? I sure know that I do. When we are young, we don’t necessarily appreciate that what happened before we were born mattered—and that someday it would matter to us.
Does one of those say the child died in 1984? Or am I reading it wrong? It looks like all the others died as young children. How heartbreaking.
I think we do! If not, we probably aren’t doing our genealogy quite right, eh? 😉
Yes, one of the children is my Grandma’s mother who lived a nice long life dying in 1984. The others are the four children who all died before they were 6. So sad!
I wonder what it was like—outliving so many siblings. Her parents must have cherished and watched over her like a hawk!
I’ve wondered the same thing! Blanche was the third child, her older two sisters both died young, and the next two children after her died young. The last three also lived to be adults. I imagine you might be right that they watched over he like a hawk. I certainly know that I would have!
I love, love, love this post. I have so many questions I wish I’d asked but then I have to remind myself that at least I know enough today to have more questions. As a grandmother, I am trying to document as much as possible and hope that one day my children (and grandchildren and so on) will be happy that I did.
Thank you, Debi! I really appreciate your kind words.
Great job! Document what you can. I hope your efforts will be appreciated and cherished by your posterity. ❤️
I think we all wish we’d been the family historian we are now, when we were younger. And even now, i’ll Get off the phone with my mum and realise I’ve forgotten to ask her something. I’m so grateful she’s just a phone call away.
I agree. The more we know, the more we realized we didn’t understand before. It all reminds me of this quote from my friend:
https://thegenealogygirl.blog/2014/04/20/quote-family-history-a-perishable-commodity/
That is so true; and a great thought to hold on to when I find myself “too busy” for my family memory and history projects.
🙂
Sometimes I just want to get out the oujie board and ask gram all my questions. But then I could not use that as my source, I would still need to prove it!
Haha! Thanks for the laugh. You are right, you couldn’t really list that as your source. 😂
We all have those moments when we should have been asking the questions we know to ask today. You are doing wonderful things with the treasures and memories you have, Amberly.
Thank you, Cathy. <3